BEHOLD!
The great Chuck Noris has finally met his master. The Premier League, in association with the Serie A, have been the stage upon which emerged the master of the master: Mario Balotelli! Chuck Noris's reign of terror is over, and now begins the reign of Super Mario. A look at his facts will tell you everything you need to know:
- Mario Balotelli’s feet can turn grass into GOLD… too bad he is allergic to grass.
- Mario Balotelli can EAT milk… he loves yoghurt!
- Mario Balotelli reads Hebrew from left to right… Mario Balotelli does not know how to read Hebrew.
- Mario Balotelli once drew a circle with a ruler… he was actually holding a compass; he thought it was a ruler.
- Mario Balotelli once had to pay his taxes, so he sent the revenue agency a picture of himself. THE NEXT DAY... he was fined for refusing to pay his taxes.
- Magicians can make impossible become possible… Mario Balotelli can make possible become impossible.
- Mario Balotelli was once asked how he could cross the Grand Canyon. He said "bring a rope” and tried using it to pull the Canyon together... but then the rope snapped and he fell awkwardly and broke his arm.
- Mario Balotelli once got bitten by a rattle snake and after three days of pain and agony… he was admitted to Intensive Care.
- If it looks like chicken, smells like chicken, feels like chicken, and tastes like chicken but MARIO BALOTELLI SAYS ITS BEEF... then Mario Balotelli does not know the difference between chicken and beef.
- Mario Balotelli has never been invited to a housewarming party because he always burns the house down… by lighting firecrackers without adult supervision.
- Mario Balotelli does not hit on women, he soaks them with water.
And finally,
- Football's greatest legends like Pele and Maradona have been the architects of impossible goals… Mario Balotelli has been the architect of an impossible miss.
So, to everyone reading this: YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
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