Megalodon Megaflop

I like to begin every article I write about sharks with a retrospective to my first “encounter” with one. Like with most kids, it happened through a book. Of course, of all the animals in it, the shark stood out for me. But “stood out” might be a euphemism: here I am writing about this roughly fourteen years later, as if that image of the shark back then cast a spell on me that will leave me mesmerized for the rest of my life-love at first sight!

There is something about sharks that does not leave people indifferent. Of course, as you read this you will want to jump off your feet and yell “Yeah you idiot, we’re just terrified by them!” at me. But think again: it’s not just fear; it’s fascination! The reason why this fascination turns into fear for most people is simply because they grow up. As kids grow into teenagers, their reproductive system kind of takes over their bodies and curiosity about sharks is replaced by curiosity about sex. So fascination takes a step back and degrades into fear. 

And my first problem with Shark Week’s Megalodon episode is all about fear. There are hundreds of species of sharks and, of those, about 10 are monster-sized! Most shark bites are only as dangerous as dog bites. Yet, in a world where Jaws dominates our perception of sharks, Discovery has chosen to open its show with “evidence” that a 30 meter long predator whose one tooth is the size of a human fist could be alive and killing in our Oceans. How on earth does a 20 meter long carnivorous fish weighing 10 tonnes and feeding on whales hide? Personally, I was hoping to see less emphasis on larger species like the Great White and Tiger Sharks which have an overhyped reputation as monstrous killers and more focus on the smaller species that tell the beautiful side of the shark story. We often speak of an elusive sixth sense in humans, but sharks actually have a very concrete one: their ampullae of Lorenzini that enables them to detect currents in the microamperes coming from information being transmitted across nerve cells in other creatures! They can detect a drop of blood in an Olympic sized swimming pool and identify whether it comes from a species of interest to them. They have inhabited the earth even before the dinosaurs, survived the asteroid that exterminated most forms of life on our planet, and are still patrolling our waters today. These are the fascinating details you miss out on when you focus on the bloodthirsty monster image of sharks!

My other main issue with this Megalodon episode has to do with the protagonist itself. The Megalodon was a true master of the Ocean: a giant apex predator whose jaws could open wide enough to engulf a one storey house. Its story, inextricably linked to that of the whale, has the potential to be a novel that would dazzle and amaze everyone reading it. Think of this giant predatory species patrolling the Ocean some 2 million years ago feasting on whales: it was the perfect predator, too perfect in fact! When the ice age came and as the Oceans froze, the whales fled to colder waters to escape their predator. The Megalodon, too perfect for its previous temperate environment, could unfortunately not cope fast enough with these drastically changing temperatures. Left alone in the cold waters and without food, the revered King of the Oceans slowly died while the leviathans survived to become the giant blue whales and dolphins we know today.

It is this kind of hard science that makes the Megalodon a fascinating creature: one whose only imperfection was that it was perfect. A beautiful case study of the marvels of Evolution! And it is in this light that Discovery should have portrayed the animal. But they chose ratings over science and education. So now, you can forget about educated fascination for the animal. Instead, now every kid who goes swimming in the sea and sees a dark shadow in the water is going to run out in tears screaming “MOMMY IT’S THE MEGALODON!!!!!”